2020, 2021

01.01.21 I cannot find my bowl of oatmeal

I cannot find my bowl of oatmeal which was my breakfast on Thursday. I ate half of it and lost the rest. I checked everywhere two or three times including many places it should not be hiding like the pantry or laundry room. If it got packed in a box of Christmas ornaments well that won’t be pretty.

ALAS, the mystery was solved after I went to bed last night. Keep reading to find out how that happened and you will also see what living in my little dementia world is like.

I had to lead with that though my intention was to share with ya’ll what a wonderful day Wednesday was but the lost oatmeal is a big sign of how today is going!

Thursday was better than a great day. I got a lot accomplished, the windy breeze was wonderful (other than knocking the outside Christmas tree over). The wind blowing cool air through the house was more than great.

I worked on some Christmas decorations that I wanted to improve before putting them all away for the year. I removed all of the twine hangers and replaced them with colored ribbon that I hope will add more color to the tree. I probably spent 5 hours in my “rock room” creating, painting, fixing, and more.

The coffee table (in the picture) had water spots on it from recent rain that blew up under the patio.  Chip said that he heard that using mayonnaise on it would restore it.  This is the beautiful table after 4 coats of mayonnaise.  It is beautiful again! That was part of the really good day!

During the good day I emptied one of my shelving units and plan to sell it as a vegetable/plant seed growing unit since it has plant growing lights under each shelf. It has a timer that worked perfectly with the lights earlier this year for growing Roy’s little seeds into healthy plants ready for planting outside. The unit will be for sale soon. I’m trying to figure out how much we had invested in it so I’ll know how much to ask.

No, the laptop is not included!

Other really good things happened but I can’t remember them at the moment.

Yesterday, however, hasn’t gone well. Not knowing where my oatmeal is now is only the first part.

I needed to get more of my diabetic testing supplies.  For those who don’t have diabetes, testing supplies include lancets (that poke your finger to get blood), test strips (that pull the blood up to be measured by the testing machine. I don’t remember where I got them last but I knew it wasn’t my pharmacy since they told me that when I needed the lancets last time.

I went to the Peoples Health Medicare website and couldn’t figure out who to contact about having a company send them to me every three months like I use to have it before we started living on the road in Dora. I couldn’t find anything specific for that but I called a couple of companies I found on their site. Neither company had someone answering the phone that spoke clear English and didn’t know what I was talking about. I did catch the words “your local pharmacy” once so after getting nowhere I called Thrift Town to get the supplies.

Most people don’t understand that when talking to someone with dementia you need to include verbally things that you would normally think someone would just understand. My conversation with the young man at the pharmacy went array when he kept saying that I could buy the supplies over the counter. Somewhere in the conversation, he must have thought that I understood that a prescription is needed for these supplies. He must have also thought that I understood that since I didn’t have a prescription on file, I’d need to have my doctor send a prescription. Most people may have understood but I couldn’t see why he thought I should get it over the counter.

Having a conversation where I can say things like “animal” instead of specific things like “dog or cat” but having to understand someone or use correct descriptive words just flattens my brain every time.

I’m not sure all of that makes any sense to anyone but all that left me crying from not understanding and from not being understood.   I contacted my doctor via My Chart (which I can handle well most of the time) and asked them to send a prescription. I am sure I won’t hear from them until next year (ha ha!). Such a simple thing as ordering the supplies should never have been that hard.

More not good things happened and lucky me can’t remember them right now. My brain has good and bad days, sometimes just a bad hour or two. I texted Chip yesterday morning to pray for this bad brain day I was having. He always does pray when I ask.

None of this may sound like a big deal but it is to me when I’m trying to accomplish one simple task and it doesn’t go well or it takes forever to figure out.

Buddy was getting out all morning mostly because I’ve been going in and out packing up Christmas decorations. I don’t mean to but I leave the door open and out he goes every time. He’s also started chasing cars down the street. He’s getting more comfortable with the surrounding area here and goes to visit the cows across the street or dips his ears in the pond water.

Since all that Christmas involved is over with I hope to spend some time working on stopping those habits.  He’s so good about coming to me when I clap my hands so that’s good. I cannot clap my hands normally since I have that Dupuytren’s contracture making my hand cup-shaped.  I have learned that I can clap by slapping the top of my hand with the other hand.  Buddy is such a good sweet dog and understands and obeys many commands.

I am losing all of my thoughts that I wanted to share. It all just goes away and my thinking stops.

But I did have a revelation about my bowl of oatmeal while in bed for the evening reading Still Alice by Lisa Genova.  Alice has Early Onset Alzheimers and  is searching for something she lost. I think she doesn’t even know what she’s searching for. This search of hers was way more drastic than mine was but in the second to last paragraph, end of the third line, you will see what made my brain click and think that just maybe that’s where my bowl of oatmeal could be.

I jumped out of my bed and shouted “I think I know where my oatmeal bowl is.” Buddy was running behind me and Chip was coming out of his room and was so shocked by me saying what I was kind of shouting, and being in the hall in the middle of the night.  I opened the linen closet door and there was my bowl of oatmeal sitting up high on a shelf. I think I put it there when I was searching for my diabetic testing supplies earlier and never thought of that place when I was searching through the house.

I fixed a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries from my own bushes for my breakfast this morning, the first day of the year 2021 and at it all sitting in one place. It was delicious. Buddy was standing guard making sure I ate it all this time!

I’m hoping the rest of 2021 goes as well as this morning is going.

I have been writing a blog post for years on the last day of the year recapping our life during each month of the past year. I didn’t do one this year as I don’t want to have to write about September 2020 when Roy passed away.  Our life was happy and good every month of the last years since I started blogging in 2012 and I enjoyed writing the recap that I titled “Reflections of God’s Blessings.” It was not a blessing to have Roy die even though I know that it is part of God’s plan for both Roy and my lives. Because of this deep grief, I just can’t write more about 2020.

I am looking forward now to what the future holds in my life. My God is in control, and I am so thankful for that.

Buddy, Chip, and I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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