2019

07.04.19 Some fun stuff for the 4th of July

Just wait till the end of this one!

A woman and man got into a car accident. Both of their cars were badly damaged, but amazingly neither of them were hurt.

After they crawled out of the wreckage, the woman said: “Wow, look at our cars – there’s nothing left! Thank God we are all right. This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other.”

joke, car crash, whiskey

The man replied: “Oh yes, I agree with you completely.”

The woman pointed to a bottle on the ground and said: “Here’s another miracle. Somehow this bottle of whisky from my back seat didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink it and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she handed the bottle to the man. The man nodded his head in agreement, opened it, and drank about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. He then handed it back to the woman. The woman took the bottle, immediately put the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.

The man asked: “Aren’t you having any?”

joke, car crash, whiskey
The woman replied: “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police – I’ll let them decide whose fault it is.”

BEAUTIFUL PLACES IN GOD’S AMAZING WORLD

WINDING ROCKS IN THE SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS

THE SNOW TRAIN IN WERNIGERODE, GERMANY

TAKACHIHO GORGE IN MIYAZAKI, JAPAN

SECRET FALLS IN NORTH CAROLINA

CENTRAL PARK AND NEW YORK CITY

SHE WROTE TO TECH SUPPORT ABOUT HER HUSBAND. THIS WAS THEIR EPIC REPLY, by Josh Starling

We’ve all needed advice at some point or another about relationships. And for good reason. They’re often hard to keep fresh!

Well, the young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke… but then she got a reply was way too good to keep to herself.

The tech support people’s love advice was hilarious and genius!

As a wise person once said, “You can only control your efforts, not the outcome.” This letter reminds us to always make a fun effort at pursuing your significant other!


The query:

Dear Tech Support,

’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate,

“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’

Good Luck!

THIS WEEK’S FIVE FAVORITE PHOTOS

Reach out to someone in need this week!

Let others see Jesus in you this week!

Be His light in the darkness this week!

Have a Blessed Week!

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Click on the links below to go there!

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Some Things I Learned About Alzheimer’s published randomly

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